Change, however hard we may resist it, is an inevitable cyclical process attempting to bring the self into balance. Sometimes we get to choose how our lives change and at other times it is thrust upon us, forcing us to find new ways of relating. We may need to activate change to get us unstuck from our present circumstances to enable growth. Just writing these words reminds me of the times I’ve faced change with great trepidation and resistance. With these feelings being so relatable, I’m ready to bring compassion and patience as we explore what’s best for you. I have great respect for anyone willing to face themselves and an uncertain future. 

From my experience, stretching beyond our comfort zone is easier with support, and I see my role as helping you discover the wisdom that’s already inside of you. I’ll do my best to help you to bring your body, mind, and spirit into alignment. Allowing for a congruence between thoughts, feelings, and behaviour that helps that next step in life feel as natural as it can.

Some people see vulnerability as weakness, but I believe to be vulnerable is to be brave. To bear your heart and remove your armor is courageous! I’m honoured when my clients share that kind of courage with me. I will meet you as you are, with the intention of modeling the acceptance you could develop for yourself. All your intersecting identities are welcome here and I’ll bring an informed non-judgemental curiosity to understanding their meaning and role in your life.

If you don’t feel brave enough to be vulnerable, you might never get in touch with your true desires, which can prevent you from genuine connection with others. We’ll create a space in therapy where you can get in touch with your true self and understand how to share your authentic self with others. But, speaking about bravery like it’s something that’s easily accessible doesn’t acknowledge how trauma can keep us stuck in limiting patterns. 

In my Masters program I took a special interest in sexual shame and how to move through it. Sexual shame may come from different sources; sexual assault, internalized homophobia, inexperience, gendered expectations, or something else entirely. Shame is an emotion that is linked to how we think we’re perceived, which can be healed in relationship with others, but you can also begin in relationship with yourself by cultivating self-compassion.

For years I presented myself as an ally to the queer community while questioning and exploring my sexual orientation privately. Acknowledging my attraction to people regardless of gender was a liberating and wonderful experience. Coming out to myself was a relief, but I vividly recall the anxiety of coming out to friends and family; sometimes it went better than I could have imagined and at other times my fears were realized. I found reassurance through the support of friends, family, and therapy. Yes, even counsellors go to therapy! Over my 3 decades (nearly 4) of life I have watched the political landscape for Queer and Trans* people shift dramatically, but this does not mean there isn’t more work to do. I believe that a lot of the negative political rhetoric towards LGBTQ+ people comes from a lack of understanding and misinformation. I continue to endeavor to be an advocate for my queer community and an ally to the trans community. 

The ways to structure and feel love are actually endless, despite being told otherwise (that only a select few are possible). I’m thrilled to be living in a time where this is getting challenged and people are expanding their options beyond the typical nuclear family into creative and beautiful expressions of love that are right for them. When your awareness expands to these alternate options, like ethical non-monogamy, it might reveal an incongruence between how you feel inside and the relationships around you. I know from personal experience, having a mismatch in desires with your romantic partner can be excruciating, whether that’s relationship style, frequency of sex, or type of intimacy. Reflecting on your feelings with a counsellor can give you clarity on what’s truly important to you and why. By understanding yourself more deeply, you may be able to share this knowledge with your partner(s), potentially encouraging more open communication between you than ever before. 

A near decade of experience working for a local adult retail store is a fun entry on my resume and I developed lots of comfort speaking to people about which toys and tools could help them achieve their desired sensation. If requested, I can bring this knowledge to the therapy space, but without any sales pressure, creating an easy environment to learn about how to enhance your solo or partnered play time. Guaranteed, you won’t be able to shock me. 

It takes a nuanced and educated level of understanding to be able to discuss the differences between kink and abuse, as well as different safety practices for BDSM. Being on the founding board of directors for the Indigeo Volo Society (a group that hosts introductory kink events and other educational opportunities) has offered me numerous perspectives on how to be safe while playing with your edges.

As supportive as friends and family can be when we’re struggling, they often come with an agenda that can get in the way of truly understanding what’s right for ourselves. In the therapeutic space I create, you won’t find me attached to the outcome, but rather, ready to join you on your journey of budding self-awareness by asking questions you might not have thought to ask yourself. 

My practice is trauma-informed and by that I mean that I’ll help create a sense of safety in the space by noticing your body language, checking in regularly, going slow and recognizing that you don’t need to share every detail of your story in order to heal. We can recognize how your trauma has impacted you in a multitude of possibly unexpected ways and is the result of stress getting stuck somewhere in a cycle and not being discharged from the body. Since no two wounds need the same attention and navigating healing is easier with support together we can slow down and understand what releasing your pain looks like for you.

While I acknowledge that diagnosis has its place and can be useful to some, the basis of the criteria and history of pathologization is fraught with injustice and prejudice. Therapy is not all doom and gloom, the subject matter may be tough but we don’t have to be. Following your lead I’m here to acknowledge the humor in life too, which can help therapy feel a little less overwhelming! I prefer to focus on solutions rather than problems, and find ways to reduce harm. I meet people as they are and use the relationship we form as a place for healing.